How To Convince Others You Understand When You Have No Idea

If you are learning a language and do not understand what anybody is saying, or are merely not listening, here are 5 rules you can follow to “pass by” while not sticking out or possibly even have others think you know what is going on.

1. 1. Don’t underestimate the smile and nod. Whenever one or more individuals are talking look the speaker in the eye and grin. Every so often add head movements to indicate it is interesting or you are on the same page. Some possible movements include: the slightly furrowed brow while elongating the neck closer to the speaker; place one hand on the chin or over the mouth if the feeling of the conversation is contemplative; or a slightly confused squint of the eyes followed by raising of the eyebrows and a nod indicating understanding. It is important not to exaggerate the nod. Slight movements work best.

2. 2. When others laugh it is appropriate and important to laugh as well. However, do not exceed the laugh of the person who is laughing the most, and just to be safe the penultimate laugher. This includes loudness, length, amount of teeth showing or mouth open, and number of snorts.

3. 3. If available, every so often look up a random word in a language dictionary. The goal of this rule is to give a sense that you have just about figured out what the speaker means. Looking up this one word should allow you to understand. Caution: Do not use too often, as it may appear you are just scanning the dictionary out of boredom.

4. 4. When beginning to pick up on words that others are using, if you feel confident, repeat that word softly. This may reflect your agreement with the speaker as well as convey that you do indeed understand them. Feel free to add in a rule 1 if it suits you.

5. 5. Finally, and also having to do with picking up on words. It is wise to remain calm and not display exaggerated expressions when you hear the word in conversation. Most often people are less interested that “20” or “television” were used. Although it may be exciting to hear “Wochenende” and know someone means “weekend,” it can be counterproductive if it is surrounded by “Mein Grossvater ist Vorwochenende gestorben.” Here, smiling enthusiastically can be inappropriate.

These are now yours to use as you wish. Please report back to me how they work. I would be very interested to hear and understand.

Happy Daydreaming!

Dan