A New Understanding of "Cleaning Streak"

The following words appear in the form of a notice on our bathroom wall. They've been a source of entertainment for me this year, though I'm not sure what to make of them. My initial thought was that our landlords' son lived here before us and perhaps they had a little struggle with cleanliness expectations. Then I noticed that both employee bathrooms at work had more succinct, less sarcastic admonitions about cleaning things up so the next person wasn't repulsed. I began to think that the Germans have a fixation on their toilets. Though the German culture isn't nearly as stick-to-the-rules as the American stereotype suggests, there are definitely instances that suggest a stronger orientation towards order in their culture than our own. I think it all boils down to their phrase for "Is everything okay?" ("Alles in Ordnung?") meaning literally "Is everything in order?"

In any case, I enjoy glancing between these instructions and bikini-clad Heidi Klum wishing me a good summer as I sit on the pot. Here's the translation:

The Toilet Brush…

…a simple guide

(With the toilet brush one distinguishes between ‘top’ and ‘bottom.’ It is conventional to designate the bristled portion as ‘bottom’ and the handle part as ‘top.’ These definitions will be used in the following.)

Taking Care of Business

After a completed large sitting (defecation), the toilet brush is calm and collected, and with a quick glance the extent of the pollution in the toilet bowl is established.

Execution

Now the bottom part of the toilet brush is introduced in the toilet bowl and with scrubbing movements the pollution is brushed away.

Attention:

A back-and-forth movement that is too strong is to be avoided. This commonly leads to sprays outside the toilet bowl – an unpleasant feeling, when one gets it on the skin.

The toilet bowl should be free of toilet paper scraps. The soggy toilet paper has the unpleasant tendency to establish itself in the bristles. The sight of such a spoiled toilet brush will with high probability deter subsequent toilet users from using the toilet brush.

Post-processing

The toilet brush is now often quite wet. In order to not drop the liquid on the floor, one should gently tap the toilet brush on the edge of the toilet bowl a few times (Warning: alluded spray danger!) and then quickly replace it in its stand. Experts can also disengage the water with neat, skilled “lightning turns” of the brush between the fingers of one hand (similar to the turning of a spinning top) through sheer centrifugal force! In this process, one must take care that the whole bristle section is situated underneath the top edge of the bowl. (Spray danger!) This method might require a little practice, but is silent and no damage to the bristle portion or the bowl or toilet seat can occur.

Distribution

The whole process has lasted not even a minute and the toilet looks vastly more appetizing. Please also work towards the dissemination of this knowledge about the use of the toilet brush and ensure the cleanliness of our home toilet. For a better toilet world for all!

No Pictures, Please.

We have returned from a two-week adventure with our final visitors. Vy and Camille, from the Bay Area, joined us on a 13-day, 5-city jaunt, in which we were greeted enthusiastically and mostly warmly where ever we went. We began in Berlin and, we assume, in anticipation of Bryce’s birthday were met by enormous crowds on May 1^st. They held signs against fascism and capitalism, telling all the neo-nazis to leave Bryce alone on her special day. The crowd developed a life of its own, however, and the riot police were necessary. The method to defuse situations was for the police to run in two lines towards the commotion. Once it was broken up, they would regroup elsewhere. Many of these two-line units were seen all around several neighborhoods. We stayed and watched until some of the bottles being thrown began heading in the direction of the police we were standing behind. Later in our stay, we were delighted to have Felipe Calderon, the President of Mexico, join us in Berlin, although, after snapping a few paparazzi shots, we made sure he had other plans as we had a busy schedule ourselves.

We then made our way by train to Cologne. Here we were able to get away from the crowds. We did find one person unexpectedly calling Bryce’s name while walking along the old cobbled streets. Realizing it was Bryce’s childhood friend, Kathryn, who lives nearby but was believed to be out of town, we enjoyed a couple hours with a tour guide before she needed to be on her way. A side note on Cologne: pretty sure it is the mullet capital of Europe.

After two days in Cologne we rented a car to have a bit more autonomy and spent two days along the Rhine and Mosel rivers on our way to Frankfurt. We stayed in Sankt Goar in a vacation apartment owned by people who made their own wine (which we sipped the first evening). Enjoying old German towns, tasting wines, and pointing out the many castles set above the steep, vertical vineyards, through the enormous sunroof of our Peugeot, we had a peaceful getaway along the picturesque rivers and valleys.

In Frankfurt, it was back to the crowds and adoring public, celebrating us with a May and Wine festival. We even had an additional 4 people join us in our room at the Hostel, although all at different parts of the night. We woke up early the next morning and hugged Camille goodbye, as the remaining three travelers set off for Portugal.

We were surprised to find that our flight had been cancelled upon arriving at the airport. This was not the treatment we were used to. After the ash that was in our way moved on, we caught the next flight and made it to Lisbon only a few hours late. We were able to have seats on the now-over-booked flight in part, I believe, because some other travelers insisted we be on ahead of them. I did not understand what was being said, but there was much yelling between this group and the flight staff. I think they were making it clear that we should travel before them and they were willing to give up there seats if necessary.

In Lisbon, we snuck in before the crowds realized we had arrived, but from our bus could see that they were all eagerly watching the TV in bars and restaurants. I am not too familiar with Portuguese customs, but from what I saw, wearing red shirts and scarves with Benfica printed on them must be a greeting and celebration tradition. And celebrate they did, waiting for us to finish dinner they drove around (possibly in loops around where we were) hanging out the car windows honking horns, waving their banners. Kids were kicking soccer balls in the streets; people were marching back and forth, chanting, singing, and blowing plastic horns. It was a joyful, if not rowdy celebration. We were fortunate to be staying in a fabulous hotel with double windows because the sounds went on through Sunday evening until after 2 am Monday Morning.

We transferred to the more “familiar” hostel for the following two nights. Spending the days wandering around the beautiful tiled city. We climbed hills, saw terrific views, tasted port wine, and got lost several times. On Monday we were able to catch the choir and soloist practicing for the massive celebration they had planned for us the next day. When Tuesday came, so did the crowds for one more commemoration of our visit. We could hear singing from everywhere, and even saw communion being given. Leading this honor was Papa Bento himself. Sure enough, the Pope travelled to Lisbon to make sure he could join us in our adventures. He even decided to have the Pope-mobile drive right under our Hostel window so he could get a good view of us.

We again arose early on Wednesday to avoid the masses, flew back to Frankfurt, said goodbye to our fellow journeyman, Vy, and took the train back home. So now we need to adjust back to reality. You know, a 4-day weekend before a long work week of Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. Luckily we have a 5-day weekend after that, then work Wednesday, Thursday and the following Monday before our contract is over. Then we begin our 4-week travels around Europe. Hopefully we will be able to avoid the publicity this time.