A New Understanding of "Cleaning Streak"

The following words appear in the form of a notice on our bathroom wall. They've been a source of entertainment for me this year, though I'm not sure what to make of them. My initial thought was that our landlords' son lived here before us and perhaps they had a little struggle with cleanliness expectations. Then I noticed that both employee bathrooms at work had more succinct, less sarcastic admonitions about cleaning things up so the next person wasn't repulsed. I began to think that the Germans have a fixation on their toilets. Though the German culture isn't nearly as stick-to-the-rules as the American stereotype suggests, there are definitely instances that suggest a stronger orientation towards order in their culture than our own. I think it all boils down to their phrase for "Is everything okay?" ("Alles in Ordnung?") meaning literally "Is everything in order?"

In any case, I enjoy glancing between these instructions and bikini-clad Heidi Klum wishing me a good summer as I sit on the pot. Here's the translation:

The Toilet Brush…

…a simple guide

(With the toilet brush one distinguishes between ‘top’ and ‘bottom.’ It is conventional to designate the bristled portion as ‘bottom’ and the handle part as ‘top.’ These definitions will be used in the following.)

Taking Care of Business

After a completed large sitting (defecation), the toilet brush is calm and collected, and with a quick glance the extent of the pollution in the toilet bowl is established.

Execution

Now the bottom part of the toilet brush is introduced in the toilet bowl and with scrubbing movements the pollution is brushed away.

Attention:

A back-and-forth movement that is too strong is to be avoided. This commonly leads to sprays outside the toilet bowl – an unpleasant feeling, when one gets it on the skin.

The toilet bowl should be free of toilet paper scraps. The soggy toilet paper has the unpleasant tendency to establish itself in the bristles. The sight of such a spoiled toilet brush will with high probability deter subsequent toilet users from using the toilet brush.

Post-processing

The toilet brush is now often quite wet. In order to not drop the liquid on the floor, one should gently tap the toilet brush on the edge of the toilet bowl a few times (Warning: alluded spray danger!) and then quickly replace it in its stand. Experts can also disengage the water with neat, skilled “lightning turns” of the brush between the fingers of one hand (similar to the turning of a spinning top) through sheer centrifugal force! In this process, one must take care that the whole bristle section is situated underneath the top edge of the bowl. (Spray danger!) This method might require a little practice, but is silent and no damage to the bristle portion or the bowl or toilet seat can occur.

Distribution

The whole process has lasted not even a minute and the toilet looks vastly more appetizing. Please also work towards the dissemination of this knowledge about the use of the toilet brush and ensure the cleanliness of our home toilet. For a better toilet world for all!